Medway Messenger column, 3rd March 2003: Could Connex Organise A Social Evening In A Brewery?

Could Connex organise a social evening in a brewery?

Sentiments echoed, I am sure, by many a Medway resident. Normally I work from home, but I spent last week commuting to London as part of some study leave I’m taking. 

I kept a record of my ten journeys between Gillingham and Victoria. Only two of them both departed and arrived on time. I’ll excuse Connex for one of the problem journeys, where there was debris on the line near Herne Hill. Thank you, vandals: very considerate of life and limb, you were. 

Moreover, on that journey the train conductor was meticulous in keeping the passengers informed. It eased the frustration. If only they had done that with every delay.

Sometimes we simply got a vague apology when pulling into Chatham of an evening. Other times we strained to listen to the reason for the delay being announced on the platform – those of us on the train were not told directly. On some occasions there was no explanation: I simply got off (or should that be ‘escaped’?) at Gillingham and noticed that the train was fifteen minutes late. 

Worse than no explanation was the recorded message apology: ‘Please accept my apology for the late arrival of this train.’ I know that woman’s words and intonation off by heart. But where is the sincerity in an apology generated by someone pressing the ‘apology’ button on the PA? Connex, you’re not apologising, you’re extracting the Michael. 

I’m glad I can claim my extortionate week’s season ticket as expenses. But for those of you who regularly rely on the 0858 from Gillingham or the 1706 from Victoria, what do you think? You take out a mortgage for that ticket and still the trains are mechanically unreliable and short-staffed. 

Yes, it’s absolutely right that Connex are losing their franchise. They’re not running a decent business, they’re putting on their own private comedy show at our expense. 

At the same time I saw many decent employees of Connex trying to do an honest day’s work and having to field the frustration of the travellers. Not only that, they were having to put up with unreasonable customers. Like the guy trying to get away with a cheap day return ticket on a peak morning service last Friday. If you were the conductor who calmly but persistently stood up to him, then well done. 

So my travels last week led me to consider the whole experience of frustration. When Connex had the decency to explain or apologise properly, I found it easier to forgive them. When they didn’t, I seethed. 

I suppose that’s how we usually deal with our frustrations, isn’t it? There are two sides to the coin. “I forgive her, I know she couldn’t help it.” Yet when someone has done something premeditated or negligent we say, “How could he do that to me? I can never forgive him.” 

But that isn’t real forgiveness. That’s deciding whether we can excuse something or not. 

Real forgiveness forgives even when we know the hurtful action was malicious or thoughtless. When the offender should have known better. Forgiveness absorbs that pain into ourselves and refuses to hate. Like Jesus did on the Cross, dying for the sins of the world.

I had to remind myself of that on the trains last week. When I did, I found serenity in the midst of a stressful environment. When I forgot, I lost that peace.

None of this is to justify Connex’s lousy service – I hope I’ve made it clear that I’m not interested in finding excuses. We should have a better rail service, and we should raise our voices until we get one. 

But while we campaign for a better service, we need peace, not high blood pressure. That comes when we forgive like Jesus did.

Because he forgives us that way, too.

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Copyright © David D Faulkner, 2006 except where other sources are attributed or noted as inspiration.