Medway Messenger column, 17th May 2002: Forgiveness? It's Just Those Meddling Do-Gooders Again

Rip-off Britain, we call it. CDs at £16.99, but far cheaper in the States or mainland Europe. DVDs at inflated prices, protected by the ‘Region’ system, so that ruthless multinationals can think of a number and double it in different territories. (Go on, buy a multi-region player, just to make Hollywood miserable.) 

And cars. Even though some list prices have fallen, you can still save twenty to thirty per cent by importing, compared with what UK extortionists will charge you. 

So a £32,000 BMW at half price evidently looked like a bargain to Gills striker Marlon King. Only problem was, he didn’t have his thinking cap on. Handling stolen goods – not the way to impress a beak who can send you to one of Her Majesty’s special homes for the next eighteen months. 

Paul Scally has said that the club will stand by King. He has told King’s father that GFC will help with the appeal. 

But how does the typical Gills fan feel? Top scorer with twenty goals and valued at £5 million, out for at least a season? Betrayed? Bitter? And will Scally continue to stand by him if both the conviction and the sentence are upheld? Will the fans forgive? Will the club? 

If you know anything about Christianity, you will know that forgiveness is central to our beliefs. And it is a belief that leads to a lot of flak. 

Some people say, “Forgiveness? It’s just those meddling do-gooders again, trying to let people off the hook.” 

But it isn’t about excusing people. If someone truly wants to be forgiven, they will not want to say it was society’s fault. Instead, they will hold their hands up and admit their guilt, without any excuses. 

Similarly, forgiveness doesn’t mean an escape from the consequences of the criminal law. Some years ago I was mugged, and I co-operated with the police investigation into the attack. Had they found the culprit, I would have willingly given evidence in court. I would have wanted other members of society protected from that violent individual.

My wife and I suffered a disastrous honeymoon – would you want to stay in a thatched cottage where the fire alarms didn’t work and the windows were too small for an escape? We took legal action – and won. Why should others be put at risk, too? 

But in both cases – the mugging and the honeymoon cottage – I had to be sure that I held no resentment against the other parties before proceeding. Otherwise it would have been revenge, not justice. 

Others say, “I never could forgive what was done to me. You don’t know how badly I was treated. I will always be angry towards that person.” 

Forgiveness isn’t about ignoring the pain or pushing it down. Push down the pain, and you bury it alive. One day it will leap back up like a Jack-in-the-box and hurt you even worse. 

But forgiveness is still essential. To nurse bitterness is to let the person who hurt you win. Cherish resentment and you will be imprisoned by it. 

Forgiveness is about embracing the pain that is not rightfully yours. It is like the bumper on a car, absorbing the impact of a collision. 

That is why the Christian symbol of forgiveness is the Cross of Jesus. To say, “No, of course I forgive you, it was nothing,” is not on. If it was nothing, it didn’t need forgiving. God in Jesus embraced the pain of all the evil we have done to him and each other, and offers us his unconditional love. 

When we know that this is what he gives us, how can we refuse it to others? 

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Copyright © David D Faulkner, 2006 except where other sources are attributed or noted as inspiration.